The.

i wonder...

I wonder........................

If Prophet Muhammad (SAW) visited you, just for a day or two

If he came unexpectedly, I wonder what you would do?

Oh I know you would give your nicest room,

to such an honored guest

And you would surely serve him, your very very best.

You would be your finest, cause you're glad to have him there

That serving him in you're home, would be a joy without compare.

But when you see him coming, would you meet him at the door

With your arms outstretched in welcome,

for your respected visitor.

Or would you run to change your clothes, before you let him in

And hide some magazines to put the Quran, where they had been?

Would you still watch those movies, on your TV set

Or would you switch it off, before he gets terribly upset.

Would you turn off the radio, and hope that he had not heard

And wish that you did not sing, that song word by word?

Would you hide your worldly things,

and instead take the Hadith books out

Could you let him walk right in, or would you rush about?

And I wonder...if the Prophet (SAW) spent, a day or two with you

Would you go on doing the things, that you always do?

Would you go right on and say the things, that you always say

Would life for you continue, as it does from day to day.

Would your family conversations, keep up their usual pace

And would you find it hard at each meal, to say a table grace?

Would you keep up each and every prayer,

without putting on a frown

And would you always jump up early, to say your Fajr at dawn?

Would you sing the songs you always sing,

and read the books you read

And let him know the things on which,

your mind and spirit feed?

Would you take the Prophet (SAW) with you,

everywhere you plan to go?

Or would you maybe change your plans, just for a day or so?

Would you be glad to have him meet, your very closest friends

Or, would you hope they stay away, until his visit ends?

Would you be glad to have him stay, forever on and on

Or would you sigh with great relief, when at last he has gone.

It might be interesting to know,

the things that you would really do

If Prophet Muhammad (SAW) came, to spend some time with you.

(Author unknown)

feel like i've been hit so so so hard in the stomach.

this poem got me!

i'm glad i'm not like some people who make praying 5 times a day their yearly resolution

though i'm having tough time tuning myself back to accepting the real purpose God created me,

i'm glad i never deny His existence

nor have i associated Him with other deities

though i know i've kept Him distant by not remembering Him the whole time

like i'm supposed to,

i'm glad i'm not like some people who only make praying 5 times a day their yearly resolution.

i just hope they live long enough for that year to come.

boy this year - it's like everybody's time(or just mine) been fast forwarded and we ended up with unspeakable whole of shitload.

Sem 2 was so fucked up! – Lesson learned!

Terrible but it finally ended! Fuuh.. even now that it’s over, I feel like it’s haunting me. Close my eyes, and I see flashes of scary scenes from sem 2 dancing in my mind and that i have no control of. I felt like I went through a nightmare and almost reached hell’s door. Ok – so I exaggerated.

It was hard though. But tell me, which part of life isn’t?

It’s hard to say sorry. It’s even harder to forgive.

It’s hard to tell your bestfriend that they’re going the wrong way,

It’s even harder to accept the fact that you’re the one going the wrong way.

It’s hard to reach others and tell them God’s with them.

Try telling YOURSELF that, it’s harder!

It’s hard to stay good all the time.

Sem 2 was hard not because of the assignments. Though the lecturers seemed to be thinking that us the students only registered for his/ her class for the whole semester. No really, not because of that.

Sem 2 (thank God it’s over now) was hard not because of the few people that made things a lot harder. though i hated them. so much. i can puke just by looking at their faces.

It was hard because i parted from God. i wasn't doing what i was supposed to wholeheartedly. i did it. but there was no soul in it. i didn't give my all even for the one goal that i set my mind on from the very beginning i registered here. May God bless me and not let me stray too far and too long. i need strength. it's hard to make sure that you have clean heart all the time, to allow God's love to stay.

I stopped writing for a long time (not that I wrote much before. Haha..) i hope to write more in the future. but not as mush as i hope i'd be like myself then or even better.

FLUFFY MC CLOUD from conorfinnegan on Vimeo.

rain rain, go away

come again another day!

;)

Respecting rights.

as a Muslim, i wish for my rights!

Seriously! I’m not talking about countries who label Islam as terrorist fascism, radical, and whatnot. i'm not talking about some so-called Muslim countries that don’t even allow the women to put on hijab. I’m talking about our beloved Muslim country, whose Muslims are said to be among the strongest in today’s world and where its government is working their ass off to bring the people together. 1 Malaysia! Everyone deserves the same rights. Bla bla bla! Hey, i’m totally okay with that! People are asked for their opinions. In classes, students are asked for their viewpoints on things. The West are so proud of the freedom of speech they are given that the higher authority and the churches are well stepped all over. Hence, due to the sense of that little freedom about saying one’s opinion which I believe in modern society as today, almost everyone can; with an open mind; accept each other’s perspectives. With this respect, i then write.

Now what pissed me off is the stupid hair salon I went to.

Strong urge inside of me telling that i should no longer attend to a non-Muslim hair stylist, but, my god is it hard to find a Muslim hair salon. And plus, i doubt that they would be any better than a non-Muslim one. I only hoped that they won’t turn out so bad that I’d regret later and then would have a crazy idea of letting my mom to do her “wonder” instead. How scary is that! haha.. hey, i’m not being bias or trying to belittle Muslims(or my mom ;-) ), but well, Muslims just have other things that we are better at(and suck terribly at). But I believe there are out there, outstanding Muslim hair stylists. It’s just hard to find one in Penang, not that i know of. But the urge was stronger than my doubt at the moment that i casted the latter aside.

So then, I was so thrilled when i finally found one. Not too far from my place. There was a Malay woman getting her hair done when i entered the hair salon. I grabbed a magazine, landed my butt on the sofa beside the television, and browsed through the new hair style that i intend to wear. I looove to make up my hair. There was once (when i wasn’t totally Islam-savvy, just to mention!) i even wore my hair in an anime style since i love anime so much. The hair stylist kept the hair on my front side extra extra long than the rest. It looked a bit like Hinata’s from Naruto, mine was just longer. And i had that longer part including my bang dyed hazel brown(inspired by Rouge in the x-men, except she had hers white). not exactly something i’m proud of. i hope i made it clear that i loo0ve getting my hair done, despite the fact that i do wear hijab. And so, while waiting for my turn, not to mention i was getting all excited to get my hair styled, a ridiculously ridiculous thing just HAD to happen then. Believe it or not, a man just walk in the salon and was all ready to get his hair cut right after me. Unbelievable! I automatically operated my brain which just a while ago didn’t have this situation calculated beforehand. I realised that a) it’s not unisex, b) non-Muslim can enter , and ultimately c) they didn’t make it convenient if a Muslimah wants to get her hair done without getting the angel busy writing her bad deeds. If they do provide an enclosed area for Muslimah customers, the first two points are totally cancelled off as problem! Male, female, Muslim or not, all can enter; everybody’s happy!

The hair stylist was Muslim all right, but it’s just frustrating that they don’t provide a place for customers like me who is trying very hard to better myself as a Muslim. I walked away. Frustrated.

Is it wrong to ask my hair to be cut some other place? What happen to ‘customers always right’ policy? I know it might’ve been a bit inconvenient for them to move around and cut just for me. But i’d say it’s about time they give it some thought. I mean u can’t expect non-Muslims to do this for you. You Muslim should realise your duty to provide the society with these kind of services.

You may think: it’s just about hair salon, big deal! What i want to tell you really are things shouldn’t be happening this way. Giving the opportunity, i want to design a hair salon that everyone will be happy about – for free. I’d love to do that. There are in fact, a lot of things Muslims have been fighting for. I don’t have to talk much, u know better than i do. Now, if u sadly don’t have the slightest clue of what’s happening, it’s about time you do some research. Read up. I bet then u’d really open your eyes to see beyond your superficial problems. That’ll be a good topic to write about since i barely write, nay?

well, that hair salon spoiled my day, tyvm!

i'm not u...

stupid as always (not me!)(for real, not me)
i think something got inside of me and operated my lips to utter words that i regretted later..
urrgghh!!

well i guess i'm only trying to deny something so ridiculously obvious..
i was me, back then. i just didn't think it would be so badly missunderstood..

don't blame me for not coming from the same background as you!
atleast i try to be there! you guys need someone like me in your "society"!

for the longer version of the story, scroll down

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bad day! bad day! badly horrifying day!
it drives me insane just to realise how unlucky i can be at times.


it all happened when i attended a meeting for this society. We plan for this event that involves the rest of the students of architecture and engineering programmes. I wasn’t anyone big or important for that matter, I was just their ‘soldier’; as I proudly claimed, tyvm.

To help you picture the situation that time, an illustration would be nice, eh? But then again, that is something i’m currently working on(that’s a lie, really. I suck at it). So, i’ll just explain, ya? Hhaha..

This event only serves to religious interest. Get me? So, i thought maybe someone like me, you know, from a totally different background would benefit them, in anyways possible. I sort of know what their target group of people may like and dislike since i once part of that group. I’ll write about “crossing over” later. So i thought, i can advise them on things that might work out and things that don’t. Hence, I join them.

Here goes : on the first meeting, i wore a tshirt and pants. Nothing revealing. Everything was fine, until i blurted out : ‘eh, kene pakai baju kurung ke?’ (since everybody else was wearing it, the girls i mean)

I tragically said that to some guys i saw near the staircase. Little did i know, that those few guys were the heads of the society. I found that out later when the meeting started.


Saying those freaking words to those folks totally gave the bad impression of me to them! You know what, i think they were so dumbfounded that they didn’t respond to my question!

I just wish to bury my head deeeeeep behind all those who were present. I don’t have any intention whatsoever to be rude or make myself look like i’m an ass who thinks it’s cool to wear like that!
And not to mention, to make an announcement about it!

I sadly said that. Well, let’s see if i can pull this off – handling the event, i mean.

they just have to bear with me a little. well, i'm not you, i'm not them, I'M ME!